STARRY NIGHTS

The first thing i fell in love with in the Nubian village where i was to stay for the most beautiful three days of the year, was my hotel room. Or, to be more precise, its rooftop. Traditional Nubian homes are round, small domes peppering the desert. Adopting this ancient and practical style, all the houses and hotels create a bubbly and colourful village where everything is built by local hands – and so are the decorations! Walls and roofs are sculpted and painted and the result is a patchwork of surreal harmony and beauty.

When the scruffy cab i took from the airport finally dropped me at the hotel, in the middle of the night, at first i couldn’t believe my eyes. The stars shone over the village, the Nile glittered down below, and the sparse light on the other side of the river were so far that it felt like modernity was a thing of the past. The series of narrow little staircases that i had to climb to get to my room led me to the last floor of this weird, dreamy, piled-up hotel, where a tiny landing opened onto a stunning view. Hand-carved with a large silver star pattern on a deep blue background, the lovely round rooftop of my room made my heart do a backflip in delight. I left my backpack in the room where my friend Yas was sleeping soundly and, ignoring the little terrace where i was actually supposed to enjoy the warm nights, i sat on that gorgeous rooftop, rolled a cigarette, and let the uniqueness of the scene suck me in.

Now, in the blink of an eye, all is over and i am sitting again on my small rounded rooftop, sucking everything in. This last night looks just like that first one a mere three days ago – but how different it feels! Our vacation ended with a bang in the shape of a fantastic after party during which i could finally talk to him a little bit, when the slender beauty he came with left the party to go to bed. Everyone danced and laughed and hugged goodbye and got sentimental, sighed “what the hell are we doing in Berlin” at least once.

And if he had come with me when the party was over, we would now be having the best sex of our lives. and, in my psychedelic ecstasy, i know he knows this too – and he was too scared, too blind, too in love with his girl, to come with me. So here i am now, alone, yet not lonely at all. The huge starry sky over Aswan weighs sweetly on me like no lover ever, and the carved stars i am lying upon are melting with my body, blurring the lines of where anything ends and everything begins. My muscles relax inch by inch by inch, ever so slowly, ever so deliciously, and i laugh out loud in the infinite night.

Never has anyone caressed my skin and dried my tears as sweetly as this hot and dry night wind. This many stars i have only seen that first night i met him, more than a year ago, in his bottomless eyes lost in the tender darkness of a Berlin august night. Desire and longing take my breath away while my amplified self reverberates through the borderless world that is embracing me. I feel my hair standing up on my buzzing body and my soul trembling with joy and ache and bliss.

I cannot make love to you, i laugh, but your land is making love to me!