SOFT

What to do
with all this
pain

a pain so hot
it burns
a whole in me

a pain so huge
i fear it
crushing me

a pain that is new
yet horrifyingly
familiar

(What to do
with all this
pain

i try to write
compose
create

art is supposed
to come
from pain

but i would
give it all up
for you)

What to do
if i should lose you
forever

the phrase
“chosen family”
goes with your name

when all else
makes no sense
we do

What to do
with all these
misunderstandings

your pain
your scars
i want to hug

i want you
to feel safe
but instead i shout

my own pain
my own scars
take the lead

What to do
with your heart
when you hide it

how are we
meant to
embrace it

What to do
with this wall
you erect

bear its sight
its coldness
i cannot

hammer it
down
won’t work either

i tried –
i shouted
i cried

nothing touches you
your beloved face
a mask

What to do
if my only
tool – my words

fails to
build a ladder
tall enough

What to do
when i hurt you
more

i shout and cry
to shake you
to shock you

while knowing
so well
that it’s no use

What do to
with all
these tears

i let them out
then dry
in the hot wind

knowing
so well
how lucky i am

What to do
when i see
you can’t cry

when i see
you
hardening

it’s the softest
version
of you

that makes
the world
feel softer too

What to do
should i never
see that softness

again?